The Saga of the Homeless Oak Ridge Boy (Part I)

I began relating this story elsewhere on the Internet, but it now seems it is an ongoing drama with new, untold developments, and I thought this was the best place to see it to its conclusion (if in fact it has a conclusion). At any rate, I'll pick up the story from the beginning, and apologize to those who have heard portions of it before. To the uninitiated, however, the saga should unfold seamlessly.


There are over 6 billion people on this planet, and according to geneticists, no two faces look exactly the same. Apparently, some poor schlep compared all 6 billion of our faces as part of his doctoral thesis, and that's how we know.

Still, despite the usual lukewarm interest in the idea, I believe it to be true. I mean, I've never met anyone who looks like me (a fact that pleases more people than I care to consider), and I've even known identical twins who have noticeable differences between them.

But trusting in this scientific fact has instilled in me a bit of turmoil regarding something that occurred to me earlier today.

Do you remember the guy with the long beard from the singing group The Oak Ridge Boys?


Well, there's a homeless man in my neighborhood who throws trash at me every morning when I come out to go to work. (It's kind of our shtick.) Anyway, the sunlight after this morning's rain shower must have hit his wet beard just right, because as I dodged a melon rind, I could have sworn the homeless guy was the long-bearded dude from The Oak Ridge Boys.

Now as I said, I trust that no two people look exactly alike, and it is likely just a coincidental, though striking, similarity the two men share. But the resemblance is undeniable, and I can't help but wonder if it's actually him.

Perhaps if he's not armed with anything heavy to throw, I'll ask him tomorrow morning.