Do Your Drawers Have a Street Value?
I've heard of marketing to specific groups before but this might be taking things a bit too far.
Well, I guess I just have the worst luck when I shop at Home Depot. I never find drugs hidden in my merchandise. All I ever get is the wrong washer that I have to return in embarrassment the next day, or a cabinet featuring a door that doesn't close properly. I've carried bricks out of there before, but not once have I returned home with a brick of huber dank.
Am I shopping on the wrong aisles or something? Do I have to give the Home Depot associate a password to get the "good" merchandise? Exactly which manufacturers are featuring the Cracker Jack-like "surprises" in their products?
All joking aside though, perhaps we should be concerned that retail stores are becoming major drug traffickers. And by concerned I mean either happy or ecstatic.
Hey, I'd much rather hop down to the local Walmart for a dime bag than have to deal with Blaze and K-Dawg in the 'Hood every few weeks. I bet Radio Shack and Mattress Giant would even have a return of merchandise policy in case you're not satisfied with the product. Blaze and K-Dawg currently do not.
But what repercussions will this type of retail business have on the drug culture? Are we going to see International Crack House of Pancakes franchises springing up all over the country? Can we look forward to shopping at Bed, Bath, and Bongs? And what exactly will they sell at Sam Goody and Pottery Barn?
At any rate, you have to hand it to Home Depot for being the innovators. They saw a demand and are supplying the products and/or services to fill it. I understand there is even a movie in the works to chronicle their story. It's called The French Door Connection.
Thank you. Don't forget to tip the wait staff. And don't forget to check your drawers for bricks.
Large quantities of drugs were found inside merchandise from at least two Home Depot stores . . .
Well, I guess I just have the worst luck when I shop at Home Depot. I never find drugs hidden in my merchandise. All I ever get is the wrong washer that I have to return in embarrassment the next day, or a cabinet featuring a door that doesn't close properly. I've carried bricks out of there before, but not once have I returned home with a brick of huber dank.
A plumber purchased a vanity . . . on Monday in which he later found 3 kilograms of cocaine and around 40 pounds of marijuana, with a total estimated street value of $250,000 . . .
Am I shopping on the wrong aisles or something? Do I have to give the Home Depot associate a password to get the "good" merchandise? Exactly which manufacturers are featuring the Cracker Jack-like "surprises" in their products?
All joking aside though, perhaps we should be concerned that retail stores are becoming major drug traffickers. And by concerned I mean either happy or ecstatic.
Hey, I'd much rather hop down to the local Walmart for a dime bag than have to deal with Blaze and K-Dawg in the 'Hood every few weeks. I bet Radio Shack and Mattress Giant would even have a return of merchandise policy in case you're not satisfied with the product. Blaze and K-Dawg currently do not.
But what repercussions will this type of retail business have on the drug culture? Are we going to see International Crack House of Pancakes franchises springing up all over the country? Can we look forward to shopping at Bed, Bath, and Bongs? And what exactly will they sell at Sam Goody and Pottery Barn?
At any rate, you have to hand it to Home Depot for being the innovators. They saw a demand and are supplying the products and/or services to fill it. I understand there is even a movie in the works to chronicle their story. It's called The French Door Connection.
Thank you. Don't forget to tip the wait staff. And don't forget to check your drawers for bricks.
posted by Sam Ogden at
1:44 PM
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