The Age of Assholes

For the better part of my life I made a point of giving people the benefit of the doubt in regard to their personal level of assholery. It was my practice to automatically set that level relatively low — for just about everyone. That is, I assumed everyone was a decent person, until they proved otherwise.

But with the proliferation of online communication, I have re-evaluated my assessment of the number of people who live well above what I call the Asshole Line. In fact, I've had to reconsider the possibility that a great number of people who walk this planet are not only assholes, but spectacular assholes. The assumptions of my youth have actually been reversed; I now assume everyone is an asshole, until they prove otherwise.

I've heard mention on several occasions, in several places, from several people the notion of the "Internet Mask". If you're not familiar with the Internet Mask concept, it's the idea that people communicating online, whether in a chat room, on a forum, or via email can be any person they want to be. The anonymity of the web allows this, and some would even say it encourages it.
I agree with the Internet Mask concept in large part. There is anonymity involved in online communication, just as one would expect anonymity from wearing a mask. But instead of the anonymity of the web allowing people to be any person they want to be, I see the anonymity of the web allowing people to be the person they actually are.

And apparently there are a lot of assholes out there breathing our air.

I mean, think about it. We go through our normal day, and the folks we encounter are generally pleasant to be around. If not pleasant, they are at least tolerable. In the real world, we interact with each other on an interpersonal level. We're often courteous. We hold doors for each other. We laugh at each other's jokes, and say "Nice job" for tasks well done. At the very least, we're apathetic to our fellow humans, making no impression one way or the other.

The short of it is, face-to-face and in person, there are few people willing to let their natural assholery flow unfettered. And it's not difficult to understand why.

Assholes are generally not only frowned upon, but were they to exercise their talents among an overwhelming majority of non-assholes, they would likely be admonished with extreme prejudice. In other words, they'd get their asses kicked.

But the Internet prevents ass-kickery for assholery, and so the idiots are free to be themselves.

Think about the way we act in our cars during a traffic jam or when someone cuts us off. We curse and gesture and rant and plot a murder spree against the offending person's family. And we have no qualms about behaving that way, because we are separated from the other drivers by a ton of steel and some safety glass.

Well, the same dynamic is at play for the Internet assholes. Only they are completely invisible, and most likely separated from the rest of us by hundreds if not thousands of miles. The chance of them being put in their place is slim. We can do nothing online but ask them to stop being assholes, which as you might know, is only going to spur them to further prickishness. The chance of retribution, the possibility that the non-assholes can group together and kick their ass is remote. So they show no restraint in unleashing their assholery. In person, they are scared, trembling little cock roaches, but on the Internet they are free to be themselves.

And this is very disconcerting. Because, as non-assholes, we're faced with the fact that there are a lot of people who not only don't mind being hated, but who find some perverse pleasure in inspiring anger and causing others to hate. Unfortunately, our anger and hatred have no viable target, which is the real tragedy. Non-assholes are simply made to feel these dark emotions with no outlet, which is perhaps the precise power trip these idiots are after.

So where does it end? Or is the situation going to get progressively worse?

Well, the Internet is not going to go away. It is too valuable an asset in our lives now. In addition to being a convenient communication tool, it is a ready source of entertainment where we can download music, watch streaming video, and read amazingly funny websites like Rinderpest.com. It's an intermediary for procuring unlimited goods and services. And it's one of the most, if not the most, robust information sources on the planet. Everyone uses the Internet, and that means the number of assholes unleashed by the Internet Mask is going to continue to climb.

But there's absolutely no reason to stop using the Internet because of all the jerks in the world.

If you get nothing but bile in an email from some jerk-wad, filter everything coming from his address into the Junk bin.

If you participate in online forums and another poster is constantly harshing your mellow, check to see if your forum has an "Ignore" feature. If so, use it, and use it with no apologies.

If you are into gaming, and your online game features a "Voice Chat" interface where you encounter competitors making fun of yo momma, disable it. You can still blow the other competitors up or take over their star cruiser without talking to them.

If you like chat rooms and someone challenges you on everything you say, take your friends with you to a private room. Or go old school on them, and simply pick up the telephone to chat with your friends.

Ignoring Internet assholes removes the perceived power they have, and without power and the attention they so desperately seek, they will go away. And if they don't go away, at the very least they will be neutralized.

Folks, there's nothing wrong with the Internet Mask. We all use it to some degree. I mean, I'm not exactly the white male from Texas I pretend to be. I'm actually a black woman from The Ivory Coast. But if we're going to survive the Age of Assholes, we've got to actively combat unacceptable behavior.

So disable chat, use those Junk bins, and engage that Ignore feature for every asshole you encounter.

(Except the ones you encounter on this website of course.)