On the Back Side of 30
I have a big birthday coming up next week. I'm turning 40.
Now, I'm usually not one to make a fuss about birthdays, especially my own. To me, it's just another day. And as long as I feel good, and as long as I can still spike a volleyball and paddle a surfboard, and as long as I still like looking at pretty girls, I figure everything's working as it should, so my age doesn't really matter.
But I'm wondering about turning 40. Should I make a big deal out of it?
My friends and family all seem touched by my milestone in some way. They all seem to get some sort of enjoyment out of the fact that I'm no longer the target demographic for most TV commercials. Many have taken peculiar delight that my yearly physicals will now include strange new exploratory procedures. Others have pointed out that in just about any athletic competition, I easily qualify to participate in the Seniors Division. They seem to find it interesting that I am now considered middle-aged.
When I tell people how old I'll be, I get responses like, "Ooohhh . . . . the big Four-Oh! Wow, I can't believe you lived this long." Or, "Jesus, you're turning 40? I hope I look as good as you when I'm so near death."
The only problem is, I'm not feeling it. I don't feel any different than I have for the past 7 or 8 years. And I say 7 or 8 years, because that was the last time I felt any real change in my body. Things started to hurt back then that never hurt before, and they would hurt for a long time; knees, back, the occasional hip thing. But those aches and pains became a part of my life, just as I suppose being over 40 will. But for now, I don't feel any different.
When I was kid, I'd see men who were approaching or passing 40 having these wonderful mid-life crises. They would buy themselves a tight pair of jeans and a frilly shirt, get a sports car, and start dating hot young women. It was all the rage. That's the way they did it in the 1970s. But I don't know if that's right for me. I don't really want a sports car, and I can't stand tight jeans, but . . . . I guess the thing is, I don't really have a buttoned-down life to escape from.
Still, if I'm going to make something out of turning 40, I might as well take advantage of this dynamic, if I can. I might as well act the fool while I've got a free pass, right?
"Who let the old guy into the club?" people will say. "And can someone make him stop dancing like that? It's very disturbing."
And then someone else will remark, "Oh, it's okay. He's just having a mid-life crisis."
Before you know it, the kids will have adopted me as sort of a mascot. I think I can make a mid-life crisis work for me.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to hit the dance clubs right away. I was thinking of starting slowly. Maybe to begin with, I'll do something that's not too far over the top. Perhaps a spanking new tattoo and a young stripper girlfriend, or something like that. I think that fits the bill nicely. Of course, I'll have to stop using phrases like "spanking new", otherwise I'll never get a young stripper girlfriend. But I'm just brainstorming right now. I'm not ready to put the plan into action just yet.
And if my mid-life crisis doesn't work out, there's still good news for me and everyone else reaching two score in age. Newspapers and the Internet keep telling me that 40 is the new 30, meaning that being 40 years old now is the same as being 30 years old was in years past.
When I heard that, I thought Wow, that's pretty damn convenient. It's perfect timing. I'm turning 40 just as 40 is becoming the new 30. And I can only assume that this trend will hold true for the rest of my life. When I turn 50, 50 will be the new 30, and then 60, and so on. Hell, I'm going to be 30 for the rest of my life!
Anyway, despite my flippancy in this post, I know that aging can be a hard fact of life. It's a ticking reminder that we are here for just a short while. But I try not to let it bother me. The truth is, as long as I feel good and I have good people around me, I don't care how old I am. I just hope to live my life well and be a good guy, no matter my age.
Of course a cool tattoo and a hot, young stripper girlfriend wouldn't really hurt anything.
I'm just saying . . .
Now, I'm usually not one to make a fuss about birthdays, especially my own. To me, it's just another day. And as long as I feel good, and as long as I can still spike a volleyball and paddle a surfboard, and as long as I still like looking at pretty girls, I figure everything's working as it should, so my age doesn't really matter.
But I'm wondering about turning 40. Should I make a big deal out of it?
My friends and family all seem touched by my milestone in some way. They all seem to get some sort of enjoyment out of the fact that I'm no longer the target demographic for most TV commercials. Many have taken peculiar delight that my yearly physicals will now include strange new exploratory procedures. Others have pointed out that in just about any athletic competition, I easily qualify to participate in the Seniors Division. They seem to find it interesting that I am now considered middle-aged.
When I tell people how old I'll be, I get responses like, "Ooohhh . . . . the big Four-Oh! Wow, I can't believe you lived this long." Or, "Jesus, you're turning 40? I hope I look as good as you when I'm so near death."
The only problem is, I'm not feeling it. I don't feel any different than I have for the past 7 or 8 years. And I say 7 or 8 years, because that was the last time I felt any real change in my body. Things started to hurt back then that never hurt before, and they would hurt for a long time; knees, back, the occasional hip thing. But those aches and pains became a part of my life, just as I suppose being over 40 will. But for now, I don't feel any different.
When I was kid, I'd see men who were approaching or passing 40 having these wonderful mid-life crises. They would buy themselves a tight pair of jeans and a frilly shirt, get a sports car, and start dating hot young women. It was all the rage. That's the way they did it in the 1970s. But I don't know if that's right for me. I don't really want a sports car, and I can't stand tight jeans, but . . . . I guess the thing is, I don't really have a buttoned-down life to escape from.
Still, if I'm going to make something out of turning 40, I might as well take advantage of this dynamic, if I can. I might as well act the fool while I've got a free pass, right?
"Who let the old guy into the club?" people will say. "And can someone make him stop dancing like that? It's very disturbing."
And then someone else will remark, "Oh, it's okay. He's just having a mid-life crisis."
Before you know it, the kids will have adopted me as sort of a mascot. I think I can make a mid-life crisis work for me.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to hit the dance clubs right away. I was thinking of starting slowly. Maybe to begin with, I'll do something that's not too far over the top. Perhaps a spanking new tattoo and a young stripper girlfriend, or something like that. I think that fits the bill nicely. Of course, I'll have to stop using phrases like "spanking new", otherwise I'll never get a young stripper girlfriend. But I'm just brainstorming right now. I'm not ready to put the plan into action just yet.
And if my mid-life crisis doesn't work out, there's still good news for me and everyone else reaching two score in age. Newspapers and the Internet keep telling me that 40 is the new 30, meaning that being 40 years old now is the same as being 30 years old was in years past.
When I heard that, I thought Wow, that's pretty damn convenient. It's perfect timing. I'm turning 40 just as 40 is becoming the new 30. And I can only assume that this trend will hold true for the rest of my life. When I turn 50, 50 will be the new 30, and then 60, and so on. Hell, I'm going to be 30 for the rest of my life!
Anyway, despite my flippancy in this post, I know that aging can be a hard fact of life. It's a ticking reminder that we are here for just a short while. But I try not to let it bother me. The truth is, as long as I feel good and I have good people around me, I don't care how old I am. I just hope to live my life well and be a good guy, no matter my age.
Of course a cool tattoo and a hot, young stripper girlfriend wouldn't really hurt anything.
I'm just saying . . .
posted by Sam Ogden at
9:43 AM
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