Burning Man Burned Early

Something is amiss in the world of hippiedom . . . .

Wait, did I just say that?

Of course something is amiss in the world of hippiedom. An important aspect of hippiedom is its latent subversive attitude. By definition, hippies must have something amiss in their world for them to be hippies. And by "amiss" I don't mean there is something wrong or bad necessarily, just something out of the ordinary, something counter-culture.

Unfortunately, there is something going on within a group that prides itself on not being ordinary that is not ordinary.

The 40 foot effigy that historically has been burned as a climactic event on the last night of the Burning Man festival was burned a few days early this year.

Now, if that isn't amiss enough for you, get this: It's been reported that the big guy was burned early by a San Francisco performance artist to cast light on the disillusionment of many who feel the annual celebration of radical self-expression has lost touch with its spontaneous, subversive roots. The hippies are disillusioned by their own festival!

For 20 some years, Burning Man attendees have traveled out into the desert in Nevada to express themselves artistically, spiritually, intellectually, romantically, and even pharmaceautically. They camp out in the Black Rock Desert for nearly a week, and do pretty much whatever they feel like doing. Traditionally, a good time is had by all.

But now some folks are disenchanted because they feel that Burning Man has been spoiled by crowds of yuppies and frat boys mostly interested in doing drugs and ogling naked participants. They don't seem to care much for doing drugs and being naked participants. They've gone completely counter-counter-culture.

The prevailing attitude by old school Burning Man attendees now seems to be: "We cannot allow these interlopers into the Burning Man inner sanctum. No self-respecting hippie, who is obviously concerned with more than just drugs and nudity, can be expected to put up with such a thing."

So let me see if I've got this straight. The Burning Man festival is a place to celebrate self-expression and subversive attitudes and ideas. But now, you're only welcome as long as your self-expression and subversive attitudes and ideas are exactly like everyone else's???

How the hell did that happen?

Craig Tapped Out

Here's another fun one:

Senator Larry Craig, a Republican from Idaho, pleaded guilty earlier this month to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge in which he allegedly came on to an undercover male police officer in the men's room of the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.

Apparently, the senator demonstrated actions in the men's room that are known to be signals used by gay men who want to get their freak on.

. . . . [T]he arresting officer alleged that Craig lingered outside a rest room stall where the officer was sitting, then entered the stall next door and blocked the door with his luggage. . . . Craig tapped his right foot, which the officer said he recognized "as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct."

. . . . Craig then touched the officer's foot with his foot and the senator "proceeded to swipe his hand under the stall divider several times," . . . .

Now I have to admit, I had no idea that airport men's rooms were the bath houses of the new millennium. I had no idea that tapping feet under a men's room stall was a signal for gay sex. I've never had anyone tap my foot, nor have I come close to tapping anyone else's foot, even by mistake. I mean, I had to ask the guy next to me for toilet paper once, but it was an emergency situation. The unwritten man-law for restroom etiquette is to attend to your business without speaking to anyone else, without looking at anyone else, and by god, especially without touching anyone else. So for me to screw up the courage to ask for toilet paper was a breach of established heterosexual restroom protocol. But as I said, it was an emergency.

At any rate, the revelation of the gay signal is one aspect of this story I find entertaining. The rest is just sad and quite infuriating.

Many people refer to the Republican party as the Jesus Party because of its traditional, religiously-based conservative views. I personally don't want to insult Jesus by associating him with a political party like the Republicans. Anyone who is deluded enough to try to police the morals of the masses can go tap their own feet in a men's room stall for all I care. The Bible's moral compass no longer points north in this day and age, and folks that try to force the fit in the land of politics simply look silly.

And before any of you Democrats get excited, I'm not giving you a pass. Your party is just as fucked up. Both groups running the government in this country are screwed up; a fact of the American political system that would make any thinking man cry if it wasn't so ridiculous.

But like Mark Foley, the U.S. Representative hammered with the male senate page scandal recently, Senator Craig is a Republican. Senator Craig is a member of the so-called Jesus Party. Senator Craig is married with three grown children. Senator Craig has a history of voting along conservative party lines. Senator Craig opposes same sex marriage. And Senator Craig was arrested for soliciting gay sex in a men's room!!!

Okay, I don't have to spell it out for you. You all have the word "hypocrite" flashing in your brains already. I just had to mention this story, even if briefly, because I get such a kick out of it when the high and mighty are caught with their pants down — both their literal pants and their moral pants in this case.

Sheesh! Why don't these jerkwads come clean when they're running for office? Why don't they recognize that homosexuality isn't morally deviant behavior? Why don't they admit that every once in a while they get the urge for some serious man-love? Why do they pretend to be so superior to the rest of us when in fact they thrive in the moral underbelly of the world like a disgusting bottom feeder? Why aren't they just honest?

Oh yeah. Because they wouldn't get elected.