Late Night Eatery of the Month (October 2007)

It's common practice among members of the drinking public to hasten to the nearest eatery once the bars close. After all, the palette has been cleansed, and in fact flushed, all evening with a variety of liquors, beers, and wines, or any combination thereof. And it becomes imperative that the drinker take sustenance before either heading to a friend's house for more drinking, or going to bed to revel in the disco nap of restless, drunken sleep.

In my drive to be the boon companion of the itinerant drinker, I regularly visit the best and the worst of the late night eateries, and it's my mission to provide you every month with the particulars of each.

Some you will know by name. Some are obscure and out of the way. But with my recommendations, you will always know just where to stagger off to for good, sloppy power grub.


Rinderpest.com's late night eatery of the month:

Tony's Taco Wagon

Location:

Outside various bars downtown. The restaurant has wheels, and Tony goes where the action is.

Hours of operation:

8pm - 4am

Ambiance:

Foggy, rainy, cold, or sticky chaotic. The environment is blurry and frantic, matching the patrons departing the drinking establishments where Tony parks. And the weather is a constant companion of the affectionately nick-named "Wagon". One could easily be in a Mexican prison at feeding time. To the uninitiated, the vibe can be as confusing and slurred as the language spewing from the recently cut-off drinkers.

Seating:

Curbs, fire hydrants, taxis, the dirty ground. It's a good idea to stake out a regular dining spot, (perhaps in an alley), so you and your buddies have a place to meet and ingest your bounty once the grub has been purchase.

Attire:

Whatever is comfortable, though most often the attire is determined by the bar/club outside of which Tony has decided to park the Wagon. However, if you feel like stripping down to the altogether, you can still acquire something to stuff into your face, and Tony won't even remove the cigarette from his lips to serve you.

Staff:

Surly, and greasy. They take no guff, but dispense it in great measure and with great aplomb. Tony has a little assistant that does the tasks that are too menial for Tony, though it's hard to imagine just what is too menial for Tony. No one is quite sure of the relationship these two share, and no one is sure of the twitchy little assistant's name. These two might be related, or Tony might have saved No-Name Go-Fer Boy from a circus side-show. Hell, they might both have escaped from a circus side-show. It's best not to ask.

Price:

Cheap. Don't tip the bartender that extra two bucks and you're set. The Wagon is a volume operation, and besides, there is most likely no way the ingredients used to create the masterpieces on sale cost very much anyway. Tony keeps his overhead low, deals in volume, and rakes it in. And the savings are passed on to the deliciously buzzed.

Fare:

The Wagon has the word 'Taco' in its name, but one hesitates to refer to the things so designated as tacos. Mexican villager might even raise an eyebrow at the name. But despite that, the meat-stuff wrapped in what passes for a corn tortilla are a delight to the palate; especially if smothered in some of Tony's own 'salsa'(?).

In addition, the Wagon features hot dogs and buns that may have in fact come from a New York vendor's wagon. Fortunately, Tony's patrons are drinkers and have tempered their stomachs with booze, which helps the dogs go down without much trouble. And although they don't have great aesthetic appeal, there is lots and lots of mustard available to add flavor to the unusual texture of the frankfurter.

Dessert:

Yeah, right.

Beverages:

Variety, including water, lemonade, and generic sodas in cans.

After dinner cigarette:

Smokers choice. You're outside and you just had what might be your last meal. Go nuts.

*Greasy rating:

4 spoons


*Greasy rating based on a scale of 5 spoons, five being the best . . . or the worst, depending on your point of view.