England (or Britain - whichever the "Advertising Standards Authority" actually oversees) has decided to ban good-looking men from ads for alcohol.

I do not make this up. Sky News (http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-1190390,00.html ) reports that "'balding' and 'paunchy' men [used in the ads] would be less likely to encourage women to drink to achieve social success."

Ok. Obviously, my first impulse was to take the next flight to London and put my resume in for the new ads - I could make a mint as the replacement guy. But I see a few problems. First, do I need an agent, or can I simply show up with a few photos highlighting my paunch and let it speak for itself? Second, do I actually have to start drinking English beer (which they serve by the slice at room temperature)? Third - is there really enough beer - even thick English stuff - to make it believable that the girls would try to catch me?

But I digress.

The basic ad shows several girls drinking, then hooking an attractive guy. The Authority believes that the ad implies that drinking leads to social success (getting the hot guy). The Authority's idea? Replace the guy with someone ugly and unsuccessful: "If the man was clearly unattractive, we think that this implication would be removed from the ad."

So in reality, what the Authority wants is a little truth in advertising - drink a few beers and you'll end up finding even balding, paunchy, unsuccessful men attractive.

Looked at from that angle, they may have a point.