It's common practice among members of the drinking public to hasten to the nearest eatery once the bars close. After all, the palette has been cleansed, and in fact flushed, all evening with any of a variety of combinations of liquors, beers, and wines, and it becomes imperative that the drinker take sustenance before either heading to a friend's house for more drinking, or going to bed to revel in the disco nap of restless, drunken sleep.

The staff at Rindepest.com has graciously visited the best and the worst of the late night eateries, and we will provide you with the particulars of each. Some you will know by name. Some are obscure and out of the way. But with our recommendations, you will always know just where to stagger off to for good, sloppy power grub.

Rinderpest.com's late night eatery of the month:

Ruchi's Taqueria

Location:

The barrio

Hours of operation:

24/7

Ambience:

Border town smelly. You can almost hear the Federales plotting ways to bilk you out of all your dolares. Perfect for both the migrant worker and the cross-eyed beer jockey just after being shot down by a fat girl.

Seating:

Traditional table seating featuring a flea market's worth of colorful upholsteries.

Attire:

Recommended, though often not a concern of management.

Staff:

Saucy. Irritated and cursing a blue streak in Spanish. Mostly clean with just a smear of salsa or guacamole on the yellow or red uniforms.

Price:

Dirt cheap. Go ahead and buy your friends a round. Taquerias are where you go with your last dollar anyway.

Fare:

Every form of heavy fuel the discerning drinker could ever desire. Cheese. Chili. Peppers. Beans. Eggs prepared anyway you want and wrapped in a tortilla for easy entry into the face. Beef skirt dripping in ranchero. Chicken with Mexican rice.

Extraordinary dishes with names like Migas and Chimichangas grace the menu, and take the tipsy eater to the brink of ecstacy.

The seasoned after-hours eater will recognize the benefit of the fare at the taqueria for after hours eating. If you pass out immediately after the meal, don't worry. You will be either tasting it or feeling it the next day.

Dessert:

Candies and a selection of Chicklets.

Also a display of mints, and a gumball machine await the adventurous diner, and toothpicks are provided, but are available for paying customers only.

Beverages:

Variety, including beer, ice water, ice tea-colored water, soda, coffee-flavored drink, and . . . water.

After dinner cigarette:

Anything hand-rolled is perfect. For those who prefer manufactured smokes, Pall Mall or Lucky Strikes are your best bet.

*Greasy rating:

4 spoons

*Greasy rating based on a scale of 5 spoons, five being the best . . . or the worst, depending on your point of view.